12:24 am. 

What am I truly passionate about? What are things that truly make up who I am today? Why is it so hard to figure out what you want to do for a career? 

 6:30 am I fall asleep, 2:30 I wake up and finally get going for the day. But then I am tired come 6:30pm. So I nap. I often don't sleep. My mind scrambled.

I want to support my wife. I want to support my family. I want to be happy. I want to do something I love. I want to be in the right place at the right time. I don't want to make it hard for my wife. She is amazing and am I doing enough for her. I'm hungry. Have I eaten enough food today? What if I choose a career that my wife doesn't like? 

And on, And on, And on. so I have to go to my happy place. I put my headphones in, and close my eyes. 

I've gotta keep the calm before the storm
I don't want less, I don't want more
Must bar the windows and the doors
To keep me safe, to keep me warm. 

Yeah, my life is what I'm fighting for 
Can't part the sea, cant reach the shore
and my voice becomes the driving force 
I won't let this pull me overboard

God, Keep my head above water
Don't let me drown, it gets harder 
Ill met you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees 
Don't let me drown, drown, drown, 
Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown

So pull me up from down below 
'Cause I'm underneath the below 
come dry me off and hold me close 
I need you now, I need you most

God, Keep my head above water

Don't let me drown, it gets harder 

Ill met you there at the altar

As I fall down to my knees 

Don't let me drown, drown, drown, 

Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown

Keep my head above water, above water

And I can't see in the stormy weather
I can't seem to keep it all together
And I, I can't swim the ocean like this forever
and I can't breathe

God, Keep my head above water 
I lose my breath at the bottom 
Come rescue me, Ill be waiting 
I'm too young to fall asleep. 

God, Keep my head above water 
Don't let me drown, It gets harder 
I'll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees 

Don't let me drown
Don't let me drown
Don't let me drown
Keep my head above water, above water. 

Don't tell me that I am the only one that feels like this. 

These questions sink deep into my soul. My mind races. I always wanted to succeed. I always wanted to accomplish things in my life. But why is it so hard to think I haven't. Why does thoughts of discouragement just come into my mind?

The halls of my mind full.  My heart Heavy.